Hello, and welcome to The Goldilocks Life! This is for any of you that feels like you've been constantly chasing perfect. And what does that even mean? Because it seems so unrealistic, but it's that feeling of that sense of like, you're either doing too much or you're not doing enough.
like your house is either perfectly clean, like a Pinterest board, or it's a disaster, or your job isn't moving as fast as your coworkers, or your kid's schedule is not as curated and seamless as the mom that you see on Instagram that seems like everything is always so put together.
So I was dealing with this in my own life. And I just feel like society puts this pressure on us for everything to be black or white and living in this world of extremes. So I was either working until midnight, like doing the hustle culture and the grind, or I was at the other end of it where I felt guilty for not doing anything.
and trying to figure out like, is there a middle? Because it seems like there's not. So I was either really strict or completely binging on my diet, right? Cause it's all or nothing. It feels like you can either do the meal prepping or you can eat fast food. And what does that middle path look like in between?
And I really wasn't buying into the perfect culture or the highlight reels, because I know that perfect doesn't exist. That's not the expectation that I hold for myself. So I certainly do not hold that for any others, but it just feels like that's where society is. It's either.
Too much or too little in this constant cycle, which is exhausting and leaves a lot of us confused and almost defeated. And like, why do we even try? Because we can't ever get it right. So my turning point came when I realized that I was just looking for the wrong thing. And I really, I don't think any of us, but especially just recognizing in myself that I am not meant to live in this black and white world of perfect or failure.
And I just want to say, I don't see failure as a bad thing. I have failed multiple times in my life, and I know that I'm going to continue to do so. It's just the nature of the beast. It's just learning from those failures. And if it wasn't for some of those failures, I wouldn't have some of the successes that I have been able to obtain either.
The goal is not to have it perfect. It is not to have everything figured out. And it's certainly not for us to feel defeated all the time. So this show is all about finding what's just right. So that's where the Goldilocks life method comes into play. It's about letting go of the pressure to be like everything and everyone else, and really consciously and mindfully seeking out your own sweet spot, because your sweet spot is going to look different than mine as it should.
And it's a journey, it's not a destination like everything. And that's how I look at a lot of my goals as far as like health and wellness and finances and everything. It's just like, there is no stopping point. This is just an ongoing thing, but I don't wanna have to constantly feel like I'm on a teeter-totter of what it's supposed to look like. So on this show, we're going to explore what it does look like in all the different aspects of our life.
So when it comes to finding your just right, we're going to dive into a couple of things that's on my heart about the too much versus not enough dilemma. So for many of us, um, in your thirties and forties, mom, burnout is a real thing. And that term mom burnout is everywhere, but what does that even really mean? And it's not just being tired.
It's more of an all encompassing physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that comes by the constant. Unyielding demands of motherhood. And it's the feeling of running on empty for so long that you're literally just done and you are just kind of starting to get used to it. You're just accepting and you're like, this is just how things are going to be. Right.
But the interesting thing about mom burnout is that it's kind of a new concept. But if you think back, our parents' generations weren't talking about it this way. And I believe that's because the demands on moms are completely different than what they were. And we're all part of this generation and the society that has been told that we can have it all.
We can do it all. We can be at all like the superhuman perspective. And then we have the internet that is just feeding us these constant streams of the quote unquote, perfect lives and highlight reels that we are juggling careers. We are managing the house. We are being the social director and everything else on top of it. We're supposed to not only regulate our own emotions, but we're supposed to be regulating the emotions of everybody in our entire family. And it just becomes heavy.
So when we live in this world where the expectation of good enough has been replaced with being extra, we are just not making dinner. We are meal prepping. We are not just attending school events, but we're leading with the volunteers. We're not just taking our kids to soccer. We are the sideline cheering squad, the snack provider, the team photographer. So you get this notion of too much and it's super obvious, the overwhelm, the anxiety, the constant guilts, you know, how many,
times have you felt guilty because like I said you're either overworking and so you're taking time away or you're not doing enough and you feel guilty because there's things that could always be done. So I feel like if we're not running around like a headless chicken then we really aren't doing enough for our family and that's what it's been made out to be but that's not the truth.
So then we have the two little side of where instead of being burnt out, we pull back completely and we're dysregulated. We get cynical. We shut down emotionally. We're not available. We are physically present, but mentally we are miles away. And this can really feel like the only way to cope because when you hit that level of burnout, the only thing you want to do is pull back. And oftentimes that's to the extreme again, and we pull back completely.
So it just creates this distance and doesn't really solve the core problem, which is having so much on our plate constantly. So if you're here, I want you to know that there is a just right solution to this mom burnout. And it doesn't have to look like quitting everything and throwing it all away and like moving out to a desolate Island, which sometimes sounds phenomenal if you ask me, and it's not just powering through and just being like, well, this is just how it's going to be. So pound in the red bull.
more coffee stops, less sleep. Let's just grind and hustle. No, it looks different for everybody, but this is how we get started together. So the first step is acknowledging, like check in with yourself. Where are you? Because you can't fix what you don't put a name to. So say it out loud. Just tell yourself like, I am tired or I am burned out.
and give yourself permission to feel whatever that is. Without judgment, this is just this act of self-awareness, just bringing the awareness to what is. And then the second part to that is to lower the expectations. And I know this might sound counterintuitive, but it's truly essential because the just right method isn't about an impossible standard. It's about finding the good enough.
So this allows you to show up with energy and intention, but the just right is also balancing. Like maybe we have takeout for dinner tonight and, or maybe it's letting the laundry set for one more day and not feeling guilty for it and knowing that you're going to get it done, but not adding it onto an already overflowing plate of other stuff to where you get to that burnt out place. And then it just becomes disastrous.
And then finally, the third step is finding your boundaries because this is hard. Let's be real. It's hard to find boundaries in life. It's hard to find boundaries in relationships, but this is truly where the magic happens. So you have to check in with yourself and ask like, what do you continuously keep showing up for or saying yes to out of obligation or guilt when truly you want to say no.
and just start small. You know, you can't say no to all the things, but if there's something on your calendar, and I'm guilty of this, like we'll have a free weekend and somehow it always gets filled up. And then the weekend comes and I start to get that anxiety of like, oh, I'm not going to have enough time to do everything that I need to get done. And then Monday is going to come and I'm going to be back to work. And here we go again in this cycle. So maybe it's just one less volunteer shift. Maybe it's one less play date on your calendar.
and just slowly starting to see how that feels. And maybe you like the play dates. Maybe that's a crucial component to your own wellbeing. So just seeing what are those things that you can maybe temporarily even take off of your plate. So the just right in motherhood is an act of self-preservation. We are literally saving ourselves. It is not selfish. It is necessary because you can't pour from an empty cup. We hear this all the time and we know it to be true, but it's hard.
It's hard for us to come to terms with we don't have to have it all together all the time.
We don't have to do all the things all the time. And when we do do them, we don't have to do them perfectly. And so it's just a lot more sustainable than if you're constantly trying to fill your cup and then let it dry and then fill your cup and let it dry. Like it's nice to have some sort of level in there that when you do get depleted, there's enough there to be able to replenish and keep going. So you don't hit that wall.
So I just want to ask, like, what is one thing that you can do to get out of this too much or too little concept? What is something that you can take action today and find your just right? Because this is where we truly figure out, like, what are we getting ourselves into that we really don't need to.
And what are the reasons behind that? Is it the societal pressure? Is it these obligations that you've allowed yourself to say yes to for whatever reason, and now you feel stuck. And I want to tell you something. You don't have to stay in something. If you feel stuck, there is an out, and it's simply just saying you can't or asking for help. And you can do either or both.
It's really truly just as simple as that. But we have this ego that gets in our way and this guilt that comes in and says, Oh my gosh, but you know, so-and-so's mom does so much. And if she can do that, then I can do that. Well, I bet you so-and-so's mom is also at a brink of burnout herself and drowning and trying to figure out what her just right is.
So bring that awareness, ask yourself those questions. Simply just take this time. Maybe at the end of this episode, just carve out five minutes to bring awareness to what you're feeling right now. Check in with those areas in your life and you know exactly where they are. I don't even have to tell you to pull out your planner or call your spouse or look at your kid's schedule. I know, you know, because I know, I know. So check in,
This is your permission to dive in to you. Give yourself the five minutes because you are worthy of that. And then next week we will come back together and we're going to build on this concept of just right. And really honing in on what that looks like for you specifically. So this is going to be a movement. This is going to be something big. And I'm really excited to continue to dive into this because the just right life is Goldilocks life is applicable to all areas of life. So when I first started the idea of this show, it was like, I had a couple of things in mind of what I could talk about when it comes to moderation and balance. And, you know, I don't really like to use the word balance a whole lot because it seems unrealistic, but the further and further I got down this rabbit hole, I realized like, yes, there really is a way to be on that middle path.
And I think I have it figured out and I'm happy and excited to share that with you. So each week, we're just going to keep diving into these topics that are forever on our mind, always on our agendas. And we're just going to get into it together and be honest with ourselves and each other and showing up on the middle path.
Thank you for being here and welcome home.
Listen here: The Goldilocks Life Podcast
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